Wednesday, July 20, 2005

For everything else, there is the Bible

Now I know whenever I screw or f*ck up a job, I should prepare 2 things before I go for any major shelling.

Number 1 is Eye-Mo (attempt wasabi if you can't act for shits)
Number 2 is the Almighty Bible.

Now i know
when my clients start to shout, I can have tears trickling down my eyes as I refute,

Now I know
that way, the client is suppose to believe me and clear me of all allegations.

Now I know that way, I am safe!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Which HK actor does Kenny Sia look like?

OK I am really bored today. Work is not moving and the client is once again sitting on their fat ass to revert with the ads. I exhausted all my recreational activities:-

a) Check my semi-retired Friendster account and search for chio bus - DONE!
b) Click my GET MAIL button repetitively in the hope that my client or a long lost friend might send me something- DONE!
c) Lose 5 minutes of my life with a stick of Dunhill Menthol Lights - DONE!
d) Walk around the office making silly remarks and annoy the shit out of everyone - DONE!
f) Break copyright laws by downloading mp3s online - DONE!
e) Take my regular dose of favourite blogs - DONE!

Soooooo... I've decided to do an entry reserved for rainy days in response to one of Kenny's assignment for fans while he was away copping feels in Peninsula M'sia and Singapore.

When I read the entry above a few weeks ago, I can't help but remember there was this keh leh feh from the TVB series War and Beauty that strongly resembles our funnyman Kenny. It took me a while but I finally found an image of him:-

Below is a simple scoresheet of the similarities:-

Hair - 2/10
[ Ed's note: Aiyah thats because the actor was sporting a Qing Dynasty pigtail mah, but both scalps are still black in color :o) ]

Brows - 9/10
[ Ed's note: Wah this is a killer! Thick and pronounced. Accordingly to Chinese fortune telling, people with thick brows carry great authority and are well respected. Others say 忠忠直直, 终须乞食。]

Eyes - 8/10
[ Ed's note: Both Kenny and the actor has got small mousy eyes with singular eyelids, Kenny's eyes however looked like slits and tak balance, 1 big 1 small. ]

Nose - 7/10
[ Ed's note: Both of them's got big noses. Kenny's however is slightly sharper with nostrils jutting *oink oink* and the actor's more on the flat side. ]

Mouth - 0/10
[ Ed's note: Pity really but the lips are direct opposites. Kenny's lips are thin and people with this feature are usually very kiam siap.The actor on the other hand possess full, luscious lips. ]

Ears - 10/10
[ Ed's note: Both of them have got big, thick earlobes that signifies longevity and prosperous life! ]

Summary: Oklah...this is the closest HK actor I can find resembling Kenny leh... and some of the features are really close. So the next time you see Kenny walking down the road, please do not mistake him for Jerry Yan. Help the poor man stop the incessant sneezing and puking. Thankiew!

1. I am not a Keh-Nih fan
2. I am ALSO not a Jerry Yan fan.
3. This entry is for entertainment purposes only and does not function to offend any Keh-Nih fans (or Keh-Nih) in the process. Therefore, please read at ur own risk.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

2J quarter century Bday bash!

Yes people, I am finally a quarter century old and with it comes more woman acquaintances, more money responsibilities, high maturity and of course more bullshit, muahahahaha. The 2 Lims, Jase and I decided to celebrate together in Red Box last Friday since our birthdays were just 3 days apart. Han the Laughing Buddha got us a huge room with projector screen and an attached toilet, the room was so spacious that I can do an Indian roll on the floor and not finish even after 5 minutes. The room also came with 3 bottle of Chivas, tidbits, fruit platter and a free buffet; all for the amazing price of RM 888... quite a steal actually!

Han - Isn't he adorable? Looks just like the Laughing Buddha

I reached Red Box at around 7.30pm due to the heavy traffic and by then, Hon, Jase, Penny, Perry and the rest of the gang were already there. I was famished and immediately tucked into the food. Couldn't say it was fantastic but when you are hungry, you really don't give 2 jackshits. However, noone was really complaining because Red Box is not suppose to be famous for its buffet, we are here for the songs and the the booze... the true highlights of the night!

Right after the dinner, some of us got right to the singing while the smoking gang went to the smoking zone at the back (yes, its that large!) and started fagging away.

Check out my ciggie light saber shtick *wanggg*

Kegiatan maksiat di negara semakin berleluasa...

Some of the people who were present do not fancy singing but tagged along because they were really good heng tai with the birthday boys. So what do they do to pass time? What they do best of course!


Verne woke up after taking a short nap. The poor fella had only 1 hour of sleep the previous day working on H's sales presentation. So when he woke up, I decided to make it a point to sing Bon Jovi's "It My Life" with him. Kinda reminds me of our predicament as advertising people....haih 命苦!

Duet of 2 gay lords featuring a blur king

Our duet kinda warmed him up and he decided to go solo with this number...

Don't cry for me... Argentinaaaaaaaaa

Of course other then singing, drinking, fagging and smooching, there were also a lot of other nonsense going on as well. Some even took the saying make yourself at home a little too seriously.


Singing barefooted makes my voice sounds better, nei chui meh?

We were in Red Box until 4am and by then most of us were tipsy and I was dead drunk. I made my rounds to the toilet and it was an ugly sight, at least I was still sober enough to clean up my mess :p~. Agnes was sleeping on the couch and Paul... poor Paul was gone with the wind. He was mighty generous in offering us another bottle of Chivas after the 3 bottles were wiped out. However by the time I took the first drink from the 4th bottle, I was totally zonked and spent most of my time in the loo. The rest sipped and poor Paul had to down more than half the bottle by himself. According to Jason, he fell off the couch and was bleeding a little but he wasn't even aware of it, he must be out cold.

The sun has gone... to bed and so must I...

Knockout aka gone aka vamoosh aka TOTAL K.O

Well, it had been spanking fun and next year... hopefully we will get to do this again. LOVELY!

Monday, July 04, 2005

Prostitute = Advertising Person?

Whoever wrote this really deserve a Kancil Award...

Are you a prostitute or simply an advertising person?

Does this sound familiar? 23 pointers to clue you in to if you are a prostitute or simply an advertising person.

1. You work very odd hours.
2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.
4. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended for the right price.
5. You are not proud of what you do.
6. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
7. It's difficult to have a family.
8. You have no job satisfaction.
9. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.
10. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.
11. People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.
12. Your family hardly recognizes you at reunions (at least the reunions you attend.)
13. Your friends have distanced themselves from you and you're left hanging with only other "professionals."
14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.
15. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or BMWs.
16. Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.
17. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it's not your problem.
18. When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).
19. You are rated on your "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.
20. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it's the client who walks away smiling.
21. The client always thinks your "cut" of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.
22. When you deduct your "take" from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.
23. Everyday you wake up and tell yourself, "I'm not going to be doing this stuff the rest of my life.