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Rocking with the Titans Part 1

Singapore, a country I have not stepped foot on for at least one and a half decades. How have you been? My memories of you are vague and incoherent. Occassional flashes of a clean community and the Yishun market does surface, and there it sinks back in. Finally under the most abrupt of chances, our paths crossed again last Friday.

My agency submitted some work (a lot la actually) not too long ago for the Asia Travel Awards and quite a few made it as finalists. The bosses and client were elated and booked a table for the gala night. I've expected to stay back and look after the ongoing projects while they were away but M actually proposed to S for me to come along! She even called the client and requested them to book a room for me. (which I found out later makes driving easier because Silvio has a shift to rely on)

So I came to the office at 7.00 am to meet up with M and S as well as Georgie's son Tuck Meng who was hitching a ride to Singapore to visit his auntie. We moved the bags and bundles of magazine into Melisa's Mutipla and imagine to my suprise (horror almost) when I saw tiada lain tiada bukan our abang Leon sitting comfortably on the front seats of the Mutipla waving at us while shaking his head to the tune of Blue's "All Rise". My adrenaline rush was suddently halted by this repulsive sight and a sick feeling invaded my guts.

Tuck Meng and M were in the backseat whereas S and I sat in the front with Leon in between. 15 minutes down the road, he was already asking dumb and annoying questions and I evaded him by pretending to be busy on my phone. Seeing I won't play along, he directed his questions at S and from S's agitated tone, I can feel there he wasn't too pleased either. Laura Pausini came up upon Melisa's request after we passed Seremban and the little boy finally zipped his mouth and fell asleep.

S and myself traded places in Pedas after taking a leak and I continued the long drive down to JB. Everyone in the car dozed off and even Laura abandoned me after the CD finished its 10 tracks. I was starting to feel sleepy and had to occasionally pinch my thighs in a desperate attempt to keep myself from falling asleep. They woke up again when I reached the outskirts of JB and I wanted to use the 2nd Causeway (Tuas) to access Singapore, S stopped me and murmured something about me being in the wrong direction. So instead of taking the exit, I went straight on, which was a bad idea as I will elaborate later on. To add to disaster, Leon woke up.

Leon: Mami, I am hungry.
S: Be patient Leon, we are almost in JB. We will get food there.
Leon: No, mami I am really hungry. (getting annoyed)
M: You want some biscuits? I still have some crackers...
Leon: No mami you don't understand. I don't want to eat anymore biscuits... they will spoil my appetite. (close to tears)

So M instructed me to stop at the nearest petrol kiosk at the pretence of using the washroom. Kononlah... just say we need to buy some food for taikor Leon lah. We stopped the car and S took Leon with him into the petrol kiosk. We waited for a full 10 minutes and I was getting really impatient. Leon came out with a big grin on his face, with a Maggi Hot Cup Noodle in one hand and a Sprite on another. The moment he entered the car, the smell of curry filled the car and all of us not only had to bear with the spicy smell but his ineccessant slurping as well.

Lunch in the city wasn't much better. I managed to find a spot in busy Jalan Wong Ah Fook and we walked down the road in search of coffee shops. In the end we settled for chicken rice in a cafe that offers roti canai and naan as well. Throughout lunch, Leon walloped most of the chicken and the young whelp had absolutely no consideration whatsoever for the people around him. I ended up with only 1 chicken helping with measly shares of tofu and bean sprouts. To add insult to injury, M quipped, "Good meal huh?". Yeah rite!

After lunch, we went 3 rounds around Wong Ah Fook trying to find the turn off into Singapore amidst a really bad jam. There were no sign boards whatsoever and to make matters worse, roads were under construction and some streets have recently been converted into one-ways. The re-energised Leon was now wide awake and M encouraged him to share a few jokes with those in the car. I tell you... that has to be the fakest moment in my life, I had to pretend that the jokes were funny and laugh along with the crowd. Silvio has no problem committing (he should win an Oscar for so many years of acting) although I can see he wasn't much more genuine than I was. What with the repetitive roundings we were doing, it was a total nuisance to hear him drone on on on. I felt like giving him one tight slap on the face and order him to shut up.

It was Friday and understandably the Woodlands Causeway was in total chaos. Cars and motors can be seen in a straight line trailing all the way from Singapore right back to JB. Inconsiderate and daring drivers slipped into the motor lane (wonder if traffic police can issue summons on this stretch) and motorcyclists honk freely whenever that happens. Most of these motorists were from Singapore and 70% of them were on big bikes. Most of them look very casual with singlets, shorts and slippers whereas others were seen sporting full racing gear with their petite girlfriends in baby tees and hot pants hug them tightly at the back. It took us 2 hours to crawl across the Causeway and we had to stop at the checkpoint to purchase an Autopass card. Autopass is a system formulated by the Singaporean government for foreign cars and allows them to keep track of cars entering the island. All cars alien to Singapore have to register themselves and pay S$10 exclusive of toll fees. Entry into Lion City is free on Fri and Sat but you need to top up the card again at the nearest 7-11 before you leave. (you can't top them up at the checkpoints when you apply, now how dumb is that. Failure to do so will result in a S$10 fine, what a fine country!)

Anyway, we checked into Hilton Singapore and were placed in the Executive floors. We took 10 minutes to freshen up and hurriedly took a cab to meet up with a potential advertiser for the theH magazine in Raffles Tower. In the taxi, I had a good view of Singapore CBD and take it from me, other than the expected systematic and clean environment. The girls...I tell you are so 'chio'. Babes in their own rights not because they are born with pretty faces but rather how well they dress themselves, the right apparel-accessories combination and the perfect make-up to make them such a pleasure to look at. Even the client I met has got a cleavage to die for... and I never thought I would have any fantasies about my clients, I was dead wrong LOL!

Upcoming post: Award nights....

posted by Jimbo @ 10:56 AM